Because he spent his prime years in Japan, he missed the apprenticeship of middle-age parenting. He missed the decade of teaching a teenager to drive or pray. When he returns home at 50, his children are adults who view him as a benefactor, not a father.
In Indonesian villages, the Japan Bapak is a hero. He is the pahlawan devisa (foreign exchange hero). Families boast of their Anak yang di Jepang (child in Japan). However, behind the newly renovated rumah (house) lies a man who works 12-14 hour shifts, lives in a dormitory with no family photos allowed, and faces a cultural landscape alien to the warmth of the Archipelago. Part 2: The Core Contradiction – Communal Indonesia vs. Isolated Japan Indonesian culture is built on gotong royong (mutual cooperation) and kekeluargaan (familism). Silence is uncomfortable; physical touch and social gatherings are the norm. The Bapak is the head of the household, but he is also the emotional anchor of the extended family. japan xxx bapak vs menantu mesum
Traditional Indonesian patriarchy dictates that the Bapak is the tulang punggung (backbone/primary breadwinner) and the decision-maker. The Ibu (mother) manages the home and education. Because he spent his prime years in Japan,